Tag Archives: penis

Transmissions from A. Mora Prinzgauer and the Nick Miller Penis Cult

Note: The recent discovery of a smoke shop near Marlo’s house that sells B-movie DVDs for $1 each has yielded some interesting finds. Selections are farmed out to all hooligans, drunk in with the senses and the nuances of each discussed ad nauseam. Up on the docket today is a review of Time Chasers (aka Tangents (wtf?)) by despondent manboy correspondent A. Mora Prinzgauer.

“Fighting evil mega-corporations by skipping through the fabric of
space time is a worthy and noble cause. Any film plot with these
elements is a treat to the senses and is fundamental training for the
inevitable events on the horizon.  Even though the acting was like
nails on a chalkboard, I found the 1990 film “Time Chasers” horribly
wonderful and hard to resist.

Scientists naïve to the evils of human intention should just not
dabble in lofty pursuits. It’s a situation bound to go awry. May this
be a warning to all you would be physicists at the Large Hadron
Collider in Switzerland. Know in the marrow of your souls that every
single one of your experiments and discoveries will be molested and
raped for the money.
That’s just the way it is. Trust no 1.
I have been trying to shut that thing down for a while now. Remember
the “Bird and the Baguette?” That was my future self’s last attempt to
change the past.
For more on this see here.


Make love with a defiant blond reporter…. not war. Cause time waits for no man.

The 20 year old director David Giancola is a visionary.
I approve of his low budget approach and crafty nature. His graphics
and lighting made me yearn for the good’ol  Atari days -
Giancola’s poetic insertion of the Edward Hopper book into the ‘J.K.
Robert’s television commercial’ scene was truly brilliant. It was a
symbol that effectively foreshadowed the struggle to come between one
man and society. Now that’s the beauty and subtlety of pretentious
filmmaking at its best.

Lead actor Matthew Bruch, played Nick Miller, the unlikely physicist hero. He
had to continuously fight with some really bad dialogue and was acting with his
eyebrows for the first 1/2 of the film. This was annoying and his
smugness gave me a headache. Nevertheless, once the action bit of the
film picked up, he came around and became endearing. As his own stunt
coordinator he kicked ass and effectively adjusted into his roll of physicists
turned jock protector. Bravo!!  And he can ride a horse! Double bravo!!

Giancola displayed dam good directing skills through use of creative
crash scenes and jammed packed action sequences. The use of bikes
throughout the film was also a genius decision. Nick, the hero, rides
a 10 speed. It suits his character well. The chase scene with
corporate and government security forces on crappy mountain bikes was
unbeatable. This was quite possibly my favorite part of the movie. I wish all
secret security forces, and mercenaries organizations like BlackWater, rode bikes into battle.
It would level the playing field, and make war fun again.
Unrelated clip of another of my favorite movie bicycle battle moments:
I also liked the time travel hijackers. The concept that there is one
dimension where people just wait around to transport-jack others, in an effort
to escape the current time damnation / dimension, is creepy and interesting.

The biggest disappointment of the film falls squarely on the shoulders
of the the costume design department. I mean the “in the future look “
actually just looked like the 80’s. Which is strange cause the movie
was made in 1990, so why would the costume designer look to the
immediate past for inspiration about the future? It totally took me
out of the moment and it just doesn’t make sense at all.

Regardless, it seems like Giancola got a new costume designer by the
2nd half of the film. But he could have just as easily used one of those Revolutionary War
reenactment troops for the climatic finale. Either way, evoking the
patriotic ideals of individualism and the war fought over it, was a
good way to remind viewers that the real nature of “The American Way”
is that of dissent and revolution, not of greed and capitalism.

My favorite character was Mike the taxi driver. He completely stole
the show. Having once myself been a taxi driver who would get overly
excited about strange conspiracy theories told to me by my passengers,
I can completely relate.  I got his motivation and really feel he
nailed his performance.  It was just so real, and it brought back fond
memories of my “A. Mora da Cabbie” days.

Form watching this movie I learned that if the physicist Nick and the
mechanic Marty had a baby it would look like Pipe Adams, complete with
bandana and all.”

-A. Mora Prinzgauer

 

 

 

Note: Nick Miller Be Praised.

NMBP

…indeed